Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Oh, what an adventure

This morning, I drove my van to work for the first time in well over a month.  To be honest, since our office moved downtown this is only the third time I have driven my vehicle.  It will also be the last time.  Mother of all that is holy....It took me an hour and a half!  My stress level is through the roof today and I have never been so happy to park my vehicle in my life.  Ok, well that's not true...I can recall a snow storm or two that ended up being a three hour commute, but in the past six months this is the happiest I have been to park. 
It is well known that my sense of direction, well frankly, it sucks.  My brother got all the sense of direction genes and I got zilch.  So, to tell you that I got lost on my way to work shouldn't really be much of a surprise.  To tell you that I got lost twice, again shouldn't really be a surprise.  But, did I mention that I was using my GPS while I got lost....twice?  That takes some serious, serious talent and I bet you wish you had my talent.
Don't be a hater.
But, while I love my train I do have one slight thing to, um, talk about?  Yeah, to the transit policeman who walks around every afternoon wearing sunglasses inside and carrying a cup of coffee....you are NOT bad ass.  All you do is walk around with your little phone and buzz people's passes to make sure they paid their fare.  What do you do if someone comes up with an unpaid fare?  Do you dump your cup of coffee on them?  I like the other cop much more than you.  He's at least nice and he smiles when buzzing my card.
That's all for now.  Tomorrow I am taking the train again even though we have happy hour after work.  Hmm...drunk blogging anyone?

Thursday, October 20, 2011

I owe you one

My Mom pointed out to me on Sunday that I owe you guys a blog, since it's been over a week.  WTF?!  Slacker...I know.  I guess I have settled into my new life on public transit.  It's pretty cool, still loving the no stress since I have no gridlock.  I read a 321 page book on Tuesday alone.  LOVE LOVE LOVE the train.

What all do I have to catch you up on?!  Well, I did indeed venture into the bathroom last week.  It's like a luxury bathroom compared to an airplane.  No lie, it's twice the size of an airplane john.  I could damn near lay down, not that I would lay on the floor of a public bathroom.  EW!  I did almost forget to flush though.  I am so used to the auto flushers now, even though those things never work for me and I always end up manually flushing it with the little button anyway.  (How's that for a run on sentence?  Mrs. Schoon would be proud). 

I also discovered last week that I have been doing my 20 minute walks unneccesarily.  I can get off one train and then hop a connection when I get downtown.  It drops me off 3 blocks from my office.  The only issue is then I have to walk outside.  Not a good idea in the winter, considering my 20 min walk is mostly skyway.  But it will be good to know for nice days and days when I just don't feel like walking a mile. 

I have met some really nice people lately.  For example, the guy who told me about the connecting train.... but as always there are the real gems.  There is a group of ladies who get on about halfway through my ride home, I call them the coop.  They're like a bunch of chickens and all they do is bitch.  I know I can complain a lot sometimes, but nothing like these women.  I went to a conference a couple of weeks ago and the speaker talked about bonding while complaining...these women fit that profile to a T.   There was also a guy last week who was so freaking tall he had to duck to get off the train.  I'm pretty sure his femur was almost twice as long as mine.  Nice guy though.  Finally, we have the woman from last night who apparently uses the train to catch up on all of her cell phone calls.....in french.  Yeah........ she sat right across from me.  I was SO freaking happy when she got off!

There was one day last week when I actually had to pull out my laptop and work for an hour on the way home.  Can you guess why?  Yup, my dumbass left my iphone sitting on my desk and I realized it when I sat my butt down on the train.  Son of a bitch....  that was one long ride home.  I also learned that working while on a train is not a good idea.  My charts were not ending up where I wanted them in my Powerpoint.  Oh and there is no WiFi on this train, just in case you were wondering. 

I know there is a bunch of stuff that I am forgetting to tell you about.  I'm thinking that means I need to get my ass in gear and blog more than once a week, right?!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

A significant delay

It's been a while since I actually blogged anything.  I guess I'm settling into the monotony of life on the train.  It's pretty uneventful, for the most part, you still have your occassional odd ball person, but nobody as interesting lately as Mr Peen or Velco-wallet guy.   I did see a lady yesterday knitting a scarf.  what is up with the knitting?  Seems like too much work for me, hell, it's too much for me to pull out my iphone and blog! 
I am officially a commuter now.  Yup, I got my monthly refillable pass for the train.  Of course, yesterday morning was my first official ride with it and it didn't work.  So yeah, I totally had time to spare before the train left and I paid the fare like I was supposed to.  Yup, I did.  You can't prove otherwise!
I am in love with the train.  I just read three books in a week.  How sweet is that?!  I like the walk to and from my office, even though I do still stress out about making the train home on time.  4:00 hits and I'm sprinting for the elevator.  Which, incidentally, I will never get used to..how does one get used to be rocketed up 30 floors in less than a minute?  My sure my brother would be less than impressed since he thinks roller coasters are nothing. 
Part of why I love the train is because I don't have to worry about sitting in traffic and I get home at exactly the same time everyday.  Well, I did....until yesterday.  Who in their right mind would think you would encounter a "significant delay" on the tracks?  When the conductor announces a significant delay between stops 1 and 2 yesterday, I was ready to go nuts.  I mean really, it's not like we are encountering gridlock!  W.T.F??  Apparently there was "signal trouble", I'm not sure what that means but ok, whatever.  When I hear the words "significant delay" I'm thinking at least half an hour to forty five minutes of just sitting.  Lesson learned - in commuter train lingo a "significant delay" is 8 minutes.  Seriously, I got to my stop 8 minutes late.  Can you imagine if the airlines idea of a "significant delay" was 8 minutes?!  I do still love the train.
I had something else to say, but one of the buddies woke up and now I forgot.  Oh well, until next time!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Am I running out of things to say already?!

What?  How can this be? I have never been one to not have something to say.  Yowser!
So last night, I'm talking to my son's teacher on the phone and I have my feet up on the seat across from me.  The conductor comes by and yells at me.  Seriously dude?  I'm not 5, you can just say "please don't put your feet on the seats", not "feet off the seats!".  Geez.
Being the complete dork that I am, I turned on my Nike+ GPS app to find out how long it takes me to walk to the station and how many calories I'm burning.  Yup, I am a Loser.  But I have figure out that it is 8/10 of a mile and I can make it in just a shade under 15 mins.  Now, this may not seem very fast, but keep in mind I'm going up several flights of stairs and hauling a 10 pound backpack.  So, there!  Bet you don't get 40 mins of activity like I do everyday!
Not really any interesting people to report for the past couple of rides.  I did discover that you don't tell someone they are a "crazy train rider" though.  There was a lady who was in my car and we ended up in the same elevator bank for our offices.  I said "so, another crazy train rider, like me" and she gave me the dirtiest look and said "there are a lot of us".   Chill out lady.  Note to self, do not try to speak to her again.
Not much else for today.  I did not sleep this morning.  I'm reading the second book in the Hunger Games trilogy.  Awesome!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011


Sorry for not blogging yesterday afternoon, I feel like I'm boring you all with the twice daily blogs, so I'll consolidate down to one a day.  It's been an interesting couple of rides. 
Last night I learned that some wives don't really police their husbands clothing very well.  One guy had his pants hiked so high and belted so tight that I wasn't really sure how he could take a deep breath.  I swear, if my husband ever thought of leaving the house like that I'd make him move to the basement.  (Love you, honey).  The other guy, oh yes now I remember, guy had a VELCRO wallet.  Once you're past the age of 10 you should no longer carry a velcro wallet.  I was laughing too hard over that one, but not too hard because I really had to go to the bathroom.  But since I wasn't smart enough to realize that there actually are bathrooms on the train and where they are located, I had a very uncomfortable ride home.  One of these days, I will venture into the bathroom and give you a full report.  I know you are just DYING to hear all about it.
This morning, I became one of THOSE people....yup, that's right I fell asleep.  I am really hoping that I wasn't snoring or drooling on myself.  Although, it is feasible that I did in fact do both.  Well, my shirt wasn't wet when I woke up, so I guess that means no drooling and no one was giving me funny looks, so I guess that means no snoring.  WHEW!  I think I'm in the clear.....I hope.  Just in case you are wondering, yes I did wake up in time to get off at my scheduled stop.  I just couldn't help falling asleep, I had my headphones on (Thank you Adele!) and the train just kinda rocks back and forth like a cradle.  I can see myself falling asleep more often than not.  Crap!

Monday, October 3, 2011

Good Monday morning

As promised, this morning I sat on the top layer! Two things are immediately evident 1. This is where all the cool people sit, clearly I don't belong. 2. The ride is much smoother up here and since it's dark out, I can't see how high I am. Rest assured, when we make it to the bridges over water my butt will be freaking the eff out. There are a lot of seats up here and more tables. More people talk up here too but it's still really quiet.
Oohkay, we are at the next station and I can see that it is well lot and I am really high off the ground. If this sucker derails I am done for. Probably won't sit up here again.
Someone just broke one of the rules of the train! They are sitting across from me! There is a possibility of knees touching. Not cool lady. She apparently knows the woman sitting next to her because they won't shut up. The friend didn't have time to finish getting dressed either. She came in sat down and took off her shoes to put her socks on. But the best part is how she would take her sock and wipe the dirt off the bottom of her feet before putting them on. Now she's applying makeup. She might want to get up a little earlier.
Bumpy train and eyeliner. I'm totally picturing the scene from Airplane with the old woman putting on lipstick and it goes up her cheek with every bump. Ooh, it's so hard not to laugh out loud right now. I'm thinking her hair took her a really long time. Wow, now she is tweezing her eyebrows, I think she is the best I've seen on the train yet. I am in awe.
I have to figure out how to get a monthly pass, this paying for it day to day is going to make balancing the checkbook a complete PiTA!