Seriously...what the hell lady

The thing I love most about public transit is that you see ALL kinds of different people.  Most are pretty normal and then once in a while you get a real gem.  I will do my best to paint you a picture of the mess I just saw.  I’ll try…sometimes words can’t do an adequate job….sigh, wow.

So I’m going to guess that this woman was a teenager in the 80s.  She had that over-tanned look about her, you know which one..kinda tight and leathery.  She was wearing what I would consider professional clothing, and looked pretty normal, on first glance.  I’m not sure which yeti she slaughtered to make those boots, but they were just a mass of long hair.  I’m thinking that she probably has to take a comb to them every time she wears them.  She HAS to, no way to keep them looking, ahem “nice” otherwise.  So she had animals on her feet, ok maybe her feet are cold, maybe.  Then we get to the handbag and notice that this woman is most definitely NOT a member of PETA.  The handbag looked kinda like suede, maybe calf skin.  I’m pretty sure she bought it in this store I saw in Texas once called “Dressin’ Gawdy” (No lie, there is a store by that name).   So, as we move up her person to further inspect the wreckage, I notice that her skirt is slit so high, I can see her panties.  Oh and her bra is hanging out too.   Keep moving on up and I notice that her hair is EXACTLY the same color as her handbag.   She had to have compared the colors on the box to the color of her purse.   So that’s a physical description of her…now the best part…whatever 1980s music she was listening too was really moving her.  Her legs did not stop jumping (kitty would have loved to attack that yeti) and I could hear the music across the aisle thru her headphones.  She was rocking out big time.  She had an empty plastic cup and she kept flicking it to the beat of the music.  Every person in this car looked at each other with a what the hell look on their face and we all gave each other knowing smiles.   Thankfully she did not ride all the way home with me.  I looked at the lady across from me and she said "well, that was interesting."  Well said, ma'am.

Oh the humanity.   Man, I love people.